Kalavande:
You have a good imagination
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fablefinatic:
Hermit this is great keep it up
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firefreak:
y'know, im not sure why but i think that saliek guy is ace
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erbanleamonaid:
great story, i haven't read all of it yet but i really like that Saliek guy.
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ihuntreindeerYAY:
And finally hermit will post his next fan fic
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ihuntreindeerYAY:
I would like to say if anybody is A fan of Hermit, They are like Me!
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Cheesus333:
Fantastic, Hermit, very good
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GoldBug:
keep it coming hermit!
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CJ_Sparrow:
Pretty twisted hermit :p
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Cheesus333:
Brilliant, hermit, this is your best yet! You just get better and better.
I'd say your already better than a great deal of writers on this forum.
Including me. Wonderful!You seem to know the mind of a Bandit very well.
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ihuntreindeerYAY:
Hermits Fan fic is very great!
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Nohtanoj:
I started reading it because I was hoping to recieve a HERMIT HUG!!!
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CJ_Sparrow:
I for one would like to see more Hermit
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fablefinatic:
dude anything is possible for a guy who calls himself a hermit
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ihuntreindeerYAY:
hermit, you never cease to amaze me!
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Gamer Of Darkness
I'm still tramatized by the old lady.Good work Hermit.
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Gamer Of Darkness:
I get to read stories in some crazy hermits cabin.
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Jontis_Pyro:
Bravo! *claps* You made me speachless for the first time since i read J.R Tolkien,
honestly, amazing hermit, especially saying its just been written,
you've created your very own, very unique writing style
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Jontis_Pyro:
skills on your writing hermit, I admire you and your style
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teh poptart kid:
I also like the Hermit. He's so badass.
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Sauce:
That's pretty good, Hermit. Very poetic and full of description.
If you work on your grammar and sentence structure, I think you will shape up to be an
excellent writer with experience.
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sweetgamer:
Hi hermit its me again. I was wondering if you could please oh please,
write another fanfic in the lionhead forums! I know people don't really use
them but You are like my inspiration
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Chupathingy:
I have to say, Orakaius, you are an inspiring writer.
one of my favourites would have to be 'Hero for a Day',
because of the fact I've always been a fan of the un-orthodox.
and of course cause the story is good.
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existance:
I love your work. It's exciting and adventurous.
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marcasite:
You have a sharp mind
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moonfever:
Love your story. You have a way of making it come to life.
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Samuel_Of_Tara:
Of course we missed you, you can't have a Fable Fan-Fic Forum without the hermit
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anony:
Okay. There's room for improvement, but overall it's good.
For now, I'll just tell you to work on sentence construction. Punctuation and making sure the sentences are fluid, see what I mean...
That's the only major problem I see, really.
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Kalavande:
OK, there a few small grammtical errors, mostly regarding times and so on. So you write things like this, just as an example: "He seed the man and runned towards them". You're not actually using correct grammar at all in these cases so when do have a look at them first, and maybe read it out loud. This will help you pick up on errors like this.
Your writing style is very forced and archaic, try to use more natural language, again, writing a lot will help you with this. Typical example of strange language:
"Saliek with no more arrows tires of long range combat, and goes in for the kill, he furiously dashed at the Troll."
"Saliek, with no more arrows left, tired of long range combat, and went it for the kill, furiously dashing at the troll." Your writing is understandable, but certainly not easy to read. Read through it at least twice before posting it. It's hardly ever the best choice to tell a story in the present tense as you have done.
Keep working at it, but it's much better.
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Arladerus:
Your writing is truly poetic.
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The_Bard:
Hey, Orakaius got any new upcoming stories. I really enjoy your work!
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